Updated: Mar 14, 2021
Today I wanted to talk to you about change. Though I had another idea planned, the Universe wants me to talk to you about change. We are living in the year 2021 and if you follow numerology and add up all the numbers you get 5. The number 5 represents change. Lately, I have been seeing 5’s everywhere and it isn’t numbered adding up to it, I mean I see multiple 5s in a row. Like when I look at the time. 5:55 a.m. or 5:55 p.m. or when I look at a billboard or address number *555. They are all around me, and I keep on acknowledging them and show my gratitude, but I believe part of what the Universe is trying to tell me is that the change is not just for me, but for the ones who I speak to about change.
Yesterday as I was talking to a very close friend of mine, she was also getting the sign of change, but in 32 and 23. Some of my coworkers have expressed a change in their life. I have told each of them to embrace it. Change is a beautiful thing. Do not get me wrong it can be scary, especially if it is a door to the unknown, but it was a change that is, as needed.
Now if you are reading this right now, this is meant for you. This is timeless. It can be in the near future, which could be 2 years from now, this message is meant for you. Know that this advice, wisdom, knowledge; whatever you want to call it is timeless. You are meant to read this.
Change is inevitable. You cannot hide from it. You cannot avoid it or run from it; it is happening as we speak. Everything is changing around us. Imagine a picture, one you would see in a museum. Now over time colors will start to fade no matter how much light control there is and the minute damage can be made even with the most careful handling of it. Change happens whether we want it to or not. For some of you, you keep on experiencing “bad” change. Though it might be “BAD” in your eyes let’s be mindful for a bit. Not trying to convince you that your feelings are wrong, by all means, those are your feelings, and you have full rights to them.
I am going to use an experience I had going through a bad, rough change. A while back when I finally moved out of my ex’s house, you would think it was a good change since I was finally moving out of my controlling ex’s house, I went through some major life changes over the next couple of years. I will not go too much into detail about the relationship my ex and I shared, but I will say it was an abusive relationship. I moved out only to get as far as next door literally. With the previous damage from my last abusive marriage still heavily weighing on me, I felt like there was not much I could do or any place I could go. My family living states away and not having many close friends made it hard to get far away. My ex had made it clear that he would make it to where I could not take our child anywhere outside of the county lines, so next door was as far as I could get at the time. I was a single mom of two boys, going to school, and working full time not making much, but enough to get by. My roommates were great for allowing me to live with them and giving me an opportunity to get back on my feet. Over the two years that I lived there, my ex kept a close eye on me, called the cops on me a couple of times for crazy reasons. The first year was the hardest because he worked even harder to control a lot of my life still by making it known that he had eyes on me and that he knew when I was not home. He’d say things to get me to blow up so he could record what I was saying and rub the recordings in my face. When I made this change moving out, I thought things would get better, but they did not with him. On top of that, I had to eventually drop out of school due to the stress of what was going on in my life. My car kept on acting up to where I would have to keep on getting it repaired and looked at. It just felt like one bad thing after another. Meanwhile, through all of this, I had an amazing long-distance boyfriend who allowed me to experience love and trust in a completely different way. Often, I thought my now-husband would say he had had enough of my baggage and opt-out, after all, he did live almost 2 hours away from me. The last straw for the changes in my life that finally got me on a path to finding the light was when my roommates' dog bit my youngest son on the foot again. They did not do anything about it after this being the second time, I packed all that I could and left to stay with my then-boyfriend at the time. Scared out of my mind because I was doing a big NO-NO of my ex and because of the previous things he had done I had to cut ties with everyone for a few months, even my own family. I figured the less everyone knew the better off I would be. So, there I was, living with my now-husband in a 2 bed 1 bathroom apartment, keeping the lowest profile I could possibly keep, no job, no place to really call home, and no family or close friends to turn to. Talk about bad. Here is where mindful comes in. Yes, I was scared, angry and full of frustration and confusion, but sitting in silence just observing what was actually around me with no other influence, allowed me to work through it all with more clarity. After a week of hiding, I eventually had to tell my ex what had happened and what my plans were. I did it in a way that I was very mindful of his feelings and his situation. He did not get all that mad and in a way kind of took my side on this. He still wanted me to come back to his area. A few more weeks my now husband and I decided to do what we said we would never do, get married.
I had to be mindful of all people involved and everything around me. I had to hit what felt like rock bottom and forced to face change I was terrified of. I was terrified of marriage and having a relationship that was positive and loving. It was unknown to me. I went from one abusive relationship to the next. The change I needed was the change of heart for allowing and accepting love, not just by other people, but mainly to myself. Once I accepted love for myself, I was able to see the good and have an abundance of good. To experience good changes, you must face the bad ones too. It is yin and yang. If you are not careful with it, it might slap you in the face as it did with me. Do I regret it though? Not one bit. I am grateful for all the changes I have experienced. I have come to embrace it and often, I get excited because I know it means something new. Who doesn’t like something new? No matter what you feel about change, be mindful of it and embrace it. From my experience, once you acknowledge change with a positive mind, the brighter the outcome.
Even if you are someone who is like me who embraces change, I would love to hear your stories and experiences with change. What changed your mindset of change?